Sleep on the plane on the way over because when we hit the ground in Paris we will be headed straight out to shop and eat! No napping, no whining or yawning will be tolerated. Jet lagged prone women… this is NOT a trip for you!
Limit group to four including me. It’s easier to make dinner reservations for tables for four. Taking tours is more difficult when you have more than four to keep track of in crowds. The odds of more than four women liking the same clothes, food, wine, or museums is very low.
One of the four friends has to include my crazy friend Lisa who meets us from London. This is not negotiable so if you don’t want to meet Lisa you are out.
Lisa can only come for 24-48hours! We successfully spent a whole week together and survived! Normally we are a wild combination and we don’t get any sleep. We want to shop and drink wine all night so after 48 hours she had to get back on that train and go back to London with all her new shoes that she will hides from her husband Michael who, by the way, is a Saint.
You cannot be high maintenance! You must be okay with small rooms with hand held showers (we try to stay in rooms with regular, you know them as American showers) unless you are on the “luxury” trip with me in which case there will be nothing to complain about – our rooms will be awesome because you have paid for luxury!
You must like food and wine and shopping. You cannot nibble or pick at food. You cannot order just salad or the wine volume will make you ill.
Don’t use words like garçon when referring to waiters. If you don’t speak French let me do the ordering at the cafés. Don’t be a rude American – we have enough already handling that for us and don’t want to be associated with them!
Don’t wear sneakers in my presence – leave them at home waiting for you when you get back and need to lose the pounds gained from eating éclairs with reckless abandon. Sneakers are ugly and offensive to the well dressed skinny French women that we will be staring at from our perch at Café de Flores!
Pack what you want, then take half of it out. The goal is to not check any bags so we can avoid baggage claim in Paris. Pack in an expandable suitcase so you have room for souvenirs on the way back.
For January 2014 I say we GO, GO, GO With Oh apartment rentals! Even if we are staying in a gorgeous apartment, you must not sleep late in the morning no matter how late we are out the night before. One is here to take advantage of every minute; you can sleep back in the U.S.A. Here in Europe we are never too old or too tired to enjoy Paris 24/7, so let’s GO!